Tips to Build Self-Esteem in Your Child

A child’s self-esteem impacts their behavior and their enjoyment of life. It is important as a parent that you foster the positive development of your child’s self-esteem. If you don’t know how to build your child’s self-esteem you can start by following these simply tips.

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Tip 1

Offer your child unconditional love. This means that you don’t place conditions on what your child has to do or be in order for you to give them love. This doesn’t mean that you have to avoid discipline, but what it does mean is that you can’t use their mistakes or failures as ammunition to push them away emotionally.

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Tip 2

Encourage your child in all of their endeavors. Every time that your child shows interest in something positive, encourage them to explore that activity. Let them know that you (1) are interested in what they are doing, and (2) that you will support them along the way.

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Tip 3

Learn how to discipline your child with out attacking their self esteem. This can be accomplished by letting the child know that you love them, but you don’t love their behavior. By providing this reasoning the punishment will not be seen as a belittlement.

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Tip 4

Plan family activities that will provide your child with opportunities to make decisions that will impact the whole family. For example, if you are planning a family vacation let your child help plan where you will go, where you will stay, and what activities you will participate in. By letting them make decisions that impact the whole family you are giving them the confidence that they need to foster a healthy self-esteem.

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Tip 5

Reinforce positive behavior and achievements with extra affection and praise. This will tell your child that you are proud of their achievements, and that you appreciate their positive behavior. This is a very affective way to instill values, and to promote positive behavior and high self-esteem.

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Tip 6

Spend quality time with your child. This is one of the easiest ways to build your child’s self-esteem. By spending quality time with your child and showing an interest in what your child does you are communicating that you love your child and that you value them.

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Tip 7

Lead by example. Show your child that you have high self-esteem. Don’t talk derogatorily about yourself or your body. Show them that you respect yourself and that you are more successful in life because of your high self-esteem.

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Tip 8

Show your child respect. Don’t label them or use derogatory terms to refer to them, even in jest. Also do not share personal information about the child with others, as this can be very embarrassing for the child.

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Tip 9
(contributed by a DCW Visitor)

Honor the concept of "complete punishments". It's just horrible when parents go out and bring up something bad that the child did that morning, even though they already punished the child. Telling a child that you love them, after you've publicly embarrassed them, sends a mixed message.