Dealing with In-Laws

Though issues and difference of opinions are inevitable in every relationship, the issues concerned with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are unique and need to be resolved every now and then with special care and attention. The estranged relation between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law leads to depression to both, disharmony in the family, break up of marriages, harassment – both mental and physical, mental torture, emotional black-mail and in extreme cases, even death. More than a family problem, it has evolved into a social disaster. The most important reason for the never-ending tiff between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is

– possessiveness – fear of distancing / losing the beloved son of the family to a stranger.

The psychology of all mothers-in-law  is that,  some  stranger is enjoying the fruits of her hard-work and toil over the years. If your mother-in-law develops a broad-minded attitude coupled with love and affection, not only to her son and grand-children but also towards you – you are lucky and she is sure to win your heart! You must remove your mental block, misconceptions, prejudices and be open-minded to accept  people as they are – that is to say, with their negative qualities – as long as  those qualities  do not come in your way and do not affect your happiness. In our traditional Indian society, the girl does not marry a man but his entire family along with him. You try to accept your in-laws as your own parents wholeheartedly with true love, and genuine concern. Once you gain their confidence no one can stop your influence in the family; you will be consulted in every important decision. In a nutshell you will become the star of the family and most powerful person next to your mother-in-law. You must be legitimately interested in the welfare of your husband’s close relatives in order to win your husband’s heart. Initially it is tough, of course, to adapt to the whole new environment but constant and continuous efforts will make you successful. It is a good idea to show true love, sincere concern, timely help, financial and emotional support and physical service at desperate times.      You must be assertive but at the same time affable.  You have to tactfully adopt the strategies to tackle a short-tempered father-in-law, a dominative mother-in-law and an over-protective sister-in-law.  All said and done you have to be prudent to avoid controversies and keep yourself away from the sensitive issues like property, partition, family politics, etc., You must not be too sensitive to react to trivial verbal abuse; you need not be a doormat to tolerate indifference, exploitation and serious abuses. You have to be highly flexible to adapt according to the likes and dislikes and practices of your new home. With due respect to your in-laws, you have to be bold, tactful, confident, unselfish and mentally matured. You are sure to win the respect from the youngsters love and confidence from the elders so that you can proudly claim that you are the source of happiness for your family.