How to Tell if Someone is Lying: The 8 Most Common Tells
Let’s face it, even if you surround yourself with the best people, the chances are, at some point, someone is going to lie to you. Whether that’s to spare your feelings or simply because the truth is too difficult for people to admit.
But how can you tell if someone isn’t being honest with you?
The good news is there are a few things you can look out for. Certain common tells can help you determine when someone isn’t being entirely truthful. Here, we’ll discuss the most prominent clues that suggest someone might not be telling the whole truth.
Remember, people lie for all kinds of reasons; they might be trying to protect themselves. Knowing when to let someone keep their secrets is its own skill in empathy.
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Inconsistencies in Their Story
One of the most common signs that someone might be lying is being inconsistent with their story. When someone is actively lying, they may struggle to keep their story straight, and their statements may contain contradictions or inconsistencies. The truth is easy because it’s fixed, but lies are fictional and could be absolutely anything.
For example, if someone claims to have been at home all night but later mentions being out with friends, this is an inconsistency that could indicate they’re not telling the truth. Similarly, if someone provides a different version of events each time they tell their story, this could be a red flag that they are lying.
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Lack of Eye Contact
Another sign that someone might be lying is a lack of eye contact. When someone is lying, they may feel guilty or uncomfortable, and avoiding eye contact can be a way of hiding these emotions.
If someone avoids looking you in the eye or looks away frequently while speaking, this could be a sign that they are not being truthful. On the other hand, someone who is being honest is more likely to maintain steady eye contact during a conversation.
Take this one with a pinch of salt if you don’t know the person well. Sometimes people, particularly if introverted, shy, neurodivergent or dealing with trauma, may struggle with eye contact. It doesn’t automatically mean they’re lying.
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Defensive Body Language
Defensive body language is another common sign that someone might be lying. When someone lies, they may feel defensive or threatened (that you’ll discover the truth), and their body language can reflect this.
For example, a liar may cross their arms or legs as a way of creating a physical barrier between themselves and the person they are lying to. They may also tense up their muscles or appear fidgety, as a way of trying to hide their discomfort or nervousness.
Again, there are plenty of other, completely innocent reasons for this behavior, so it’s important to keep an open mind.
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Repeating the Question or Delayed Responses
Repeating the question may indicate someone is lying as they may need more time to think of a convincing answer, and repeating the question can buy them that time. A delayed response can be another tactic to create more time to think of a convincing answer.
For example, if you ask someone if they were at a particular location at a specific time, and they repeat the question back to you, this could be a sign that they are trying to come up with a plausible answer.
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Too Much Detail or Too Little Detail
Providing either too much or too little detail can be suspicious. It could mean they’re trying to overcompensate by providing excessive detail in an attempt to make their story seem more believable. Alternatively, they may provide too little detail to avoid getting caught in a lie.
For example, if someone claims to have been at a specific location at a specific time, but then proceeds to provide an excessive amount of detail about their experience there, it could be a sign that they are lying.
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Sudden Changes in Behavior
If you notice sudden changes in behavior, there’s probably a reason. It may be that they’re trying to hide something or avoid certain situations or conversations. They may feel threatened or uncomfortable at their own decision to lie, and their behavior can reflect this.
For example, if someone suddenly becomes evasive or overly aggressive when questioned about simple things, it could be a sign that they have something to hide.
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Changing the Subject
Changing the subject is another common sign that someone might be lying. When someone is lying, they may try to redirect the conversation away from the topic at hand as a way of avoiding answering certain questions.
For example, if you ask someone about a particular event or experience, and they immediately try to steer the conversation in a different direction, it could be a sign that there is something they don’t want you to find out.
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Microexpressions
Microexpressions are brief, involuntary facial movements that display a person’s true emotions, even if they are trying to conceal them. Microexpressions can often betray a person’s true emotions, which may be at odds with the emotions they are trying to convey.
Take the world of poker as an example. A good poker player is usually a dab hand at reading body language and facial expressions. Microexpressions can be the key to identifying a bluff and at times, the difference between winning or losing. That’s why many players prefer their chances at online social poker where you have the option to play behind the comfort of your screen, eliminating the powerful advantage microexpressions can give your competitors.
Determining If Someone Is Lying
It’s important to approach each situation with an open mind, gather as much information as possible, and avoid jumping to conclusions based on a single sign or cue. Everyone has their own natural behaviors that may not line up with your own.
Ultimately, the best way to determine if someone is lying is to listen carefully to their responses and use your intuition and judgment to evaluate their credibility. It’s much easier to detect in those you know, rather than strangers. The benefit of the doubt is often your greatest tool.