Common Mistakes Parents Make with Teens
Parenting teenagers is no walk in the park. You will make mistakes. And even if you were to do everything perfectly, you’re going to encounter some conflict. It’s a challenging time in any parent’s life. That’s probably why so many parents stress over their parenting technique.
But fortunately, we’re not the first parents to encounter this stage. Everything you’re going through, someone has done before you. They’ve already made the mistakes, so we can look to what they’ve done to know what we want to avoid.
Here are some of the common mistakes parents make with teens.
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Over-thinking it
It is important to do your research on parenting methods, but once you come up with a strategy, try to stick to it. If you spend all your time second-guessing yourself, you’re likely to change course. In order to get through this stage, consistency is key.
Go ahead and read some parenting books, but don’t overdo it. You’ll end up with information overload and extreme confusion.
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Trying to be your teen’s friend
All parents want to consider their children their friends, but here’s the thing: They don’t need another friend if it means losing a parent.
It’s true that friends are important, especially in the teenage years, but that’s not your job. Your job is to provide your child with some much-needed guidance. Your job is to teach your child how to become a productive member of society.
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Allowing too much unsupervised time
When your child becomes a teen, they’ll start spending more time with their friends and less time with you. This is normal and healthy. But this isn’t a time to back off completely – even if your teen seems to want you to. It’s still your job to help your child navigate through this life, whether they like it or not.
Try to make an effort to spend time with your teen every day, even if it’s just an hour during dinner. During this time, talk about their day and yours. Ask questions and listen to what they have to say.
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Giving them everything
Sometimes, parents give in to their teenagers’ desires because they want to seem cool. Sometimes, they give in because it’s easier. And sometimes, they give in because they’re tired of dealing with their teenager’s attitude.
Regardless of the reason, it’s not a good coping mechanism. It may feel good in the moment, but it’s not good for you in the long run, and it’s definitely going to be damaging to your child. When you give in to everything your teenager wants, they will grow up to become entitled adults.
Instead, ask them to do chores before they can get the things they’re asking for.
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Ignoring their feelings
Teenagers can seem like a mess of emotions, but it’s important to address them instead of ignoring them. This is the time to teach your child how to handle their negative emotions in a healthy way instead of dwelling on hurts.
If your child can’t deal with negative emotions, they will be much more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to self-medicate. So if you want to avoid the issue of teen drug addiction (and who doesn’t?), get your teen to talk about his or her feelings.
When it comes to raising kids, and in life, we all make mistakes. But instead of trying to be perfect, let’s just try to do our best. Try avoiding these common mistakes and you’ll be on your way to raising well-adjusted young adults.
