Part 1: LITTLE PRINCESS – The story of a special need child
The Ill Fated Accident | Facing the Problems | Sarah’s Present Life
Part I – The Ill-Fated Accident
“It’s not fair!”, says Sarah, when Michelle, her mother, insists on being right beside her when she wants to play alone in the woods or forbids her to drive her bike as far as her brother, Jacob, does. And she is right. Life has not been fair to her. Sarah is a special-need child. To put it in a more worldly way, a ‘disabled’ or a ‘mentally-retarded’ child, though I would like to stick to my former description of it.
Sarah’s fate was written even before she was born. Just like any other mother, Michelle prepared for her second child full of loveliest dreams. Not in her wildest dreams did she imagine that daily medication and ‘LD’ classes will form an inseparable part of her life. A mistake made by her doctor, when Michelle was pregnant, cost them heavily. The doctor, a foreigner, miscalculated her due date when she referred to her last menstrual cycle as being taken place on ‘Valentine’s Day’. Due to his inadequate knowledge of American holidays, he took it to be ‘New Year’s Day’. This shift from February 14th(Valentine’s Day) to January 1st (New Year’s Day) was to change Michelle and Sarah’s life for ever. On November 15, Michelle had still a few weeks more to go, when her doctor, imagining her to be heavily over due, induced Sarah’s premature birth. And thus, on 15th day of November in 1991, Sarah was born weighing just over 6 pounds.
Michelle sensed from the very beginning that Sarah was ‘slow’ and repeatedly tried to bring this to the notice of other family members and doctors. Unfortunately, her voice was always hushed up by terming her fears as the superfluous worries of a mother. With a painful heart, she observed Sarah as she reached her ‘milestones’ far behind other children. She couldnt sit up by herself until 6 months, didnt learn to walk until almost two years, and that was more running than walking because shes lose her balance if she slowed down. Her first words were at almost three years, and were the basic momma, dadda, book, cup, doggie. Nevertheless, Michelle continued pointing out her concerns despite being accused of expecting too much from her, and comparing her with her son, Jacob, who is just two years older to Sarah. Try as much as she could, she did not find anyone to address her questions and concerns to. And for 4 years, she was completely clueless as to WHY this was happening to her child and WHAT she could do for her.
With all her worries and unanswered questions about Sarah, Michelle moved to another state where she had heard of several specialists for special-need children. “That was the best thing I couldve done for Sarah”, says Michelle. They were welcomed by the entire medical community and put their heart into diagnosing little Sarah. It was then that Michelle’s fears proved to be correct. She knew she had not been imagining. It was true. Her beloved daughter was indeed suffering with disability. She was learning disabled and had ADHD. The diagnosis brought another startling fact to light. Sarah had suffered a head injury as an infant. Sarah’s parents were surprised to hear this and denied having to do anything with it. But the fact was confirmed when Sarah’s grandmother, who had kept it as a closely-guarded secret due to fear and shame, admitted to it. Michelle buried her feelings at this occasion and concentrated on Sarah’s development now that all the facts were in the open.
Then started the proper medication and attention that Sarah needed. She was started on a small dose of Ritalin twice a day, which really seemed to help her focus & absorb more information from her surroundings. Sarahs neurologist (Brain specialist) explained Sarah’s situation in a very simple and ‘easy to understand’ manner by using the following mailroom comparison:
Sarahs mind is operating like the mail processing room of a post office. Right now, all of the windows (distractions) are open, and the mail (information) is blowing all over the place. Its all there, but it isnt sorted in any particular fashion, keeping her from being able to use it. With the medication, along with occupational & speech therapy, Sarah will be able to close the windows, and put all of the mail (information) in the proper boxes, enabling her to access & use it easily when she needs to.
This assurance filled Michelle with relief & hope. In her words, “Finally she (Sarah) was getting some help, and I was getting some answers!” But the worst was yet to come. Michelle got the biggest blow of her life when she discovered that her husband, Sarah’s real father, had been molesting Sarah for 3 years! The period of her life from ages 6 to 9 years was blackened by the startling and shameful fact that she was molested by her own father. I can only call this God’s special child fortunate that she does not realize this. The knowledge of her father being incarcerated for this heinous act has done little to soothe Michelle. Those 3 years have left a strong impact on Sarah’s mind. “I have trouble getting her to understand that its wrong to behave ‘that way’ with people”, says Michelle. Her misery and anger at this cannot be measured by anyone and she avoids further discussion or mention of her former husband henceforth.
Continue to Part IIFacing the Problems