5 Smart Money Moves to Make Before Getting Married
A wedding celebrates the loving union of two people. It also constitutes a merger of budgeting values and project management styles. Couples who postpone taking a hard look at their finances until they return from the honeymoon might think they are being romantic, but they are often engaging in relationship sabotage. Unfortunately, two-thirds of marriages begin in debt and wedding expenses account for a painfully large portion of that financial burden, just as financial stress accounts for an outsized share of marital conflict. On the shinier side of the matrimonial coin, wedding planning represents first-class training on making big decisions as a couple. Another bonus of hours staring at bouquets of spreadsheets together includes discovering all sorts of personal preferences, which can, in turn, avert all sorts of well-intentioned blunders in the coming years. So while you are workshopping those sweet dance moves for the reception, invest a bit of time in finessing some smart money moves as well. From purchasing affordable wedding rings to being prepared for unexpected costs, here are some helpful money moves to think about before saying “I do”.
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- Share More Than Money
Thinking of wedding planning as a joint venture means more than just pooling the money, assigning responsibilities and then reconvening at the rehearsal dinner. It can be tempting to compartmentalize in order to be more efficient. But saying, “I don’t care about tablecloth fabric unless it interferes with being able to pay for a DJ,” isn’t always the best approach to take. According to research done by the Gottman Institute, one of the best ways to improve a relationship is by recognizing emotional bids, which they describe as the “attempts a person makes to connect to their partner.”
For example, perhaps the groom notices the bride keeps bringing up the tablecloth material, so he asks her why the linens are such a high-priority. If the answer is that it is the same kind of tablecloth that was at her grandparents’ wedding and her grandfather recently passed away, that’s an important thing to know. Or maybe the answer is that it was the first tablecloth material that she saw, but if the groom wants to find a cheaper alternative, the bride is good with his decision. Not every item on the budget has to be subject to exhaustive cross-examination, but the savvy lovebirds will seize opportunities to pick up on each other’s signals and work on honest communication.
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- Invest in Items That Outlast the Wedding Day
Just because it plays a role in your wedding, that doesn’t mean that’s the only day it can be useful. Wedding purchases become more of a bargain when they are lifelong fixtures, like affordable wedding rings. Consider putting all the wedding expenses on a single credit card to earn miles for the honeymoon (just make sure there’s a plan to pay it off). Coordinate suits with the groomsman who is getting married later in the year. Make the wedding favors do double duty as well – that succulent centerpiece in the middle of the table can get sent home with guests and streamline clean-up. If married bliss means more parties are in store, consider throwing some drink tubs on a shower registry rather than renting them for the day.
- Commit to Staying on Budget from the Beginning
There are so many opportunities to spend money on a wedding, so it’s good to be disciplined from the start. That could mean putting in the research on affordable engagement rings, buying flowers in season and embracing some DIY crafts. That doesn’t mean always going with the least expensive option. It just means being deliberate about spending.
- Keep an Eye Out for Unexpected Costs
What kind of late fees are attached to the rentals? That venue looks like a steal, but what’s that fine print about not providing any chairs? Is the wedding wardrobe going to require some alterations? Have you thought about meals on the wedding day besides the reception dinner? How much is the postage on those fancy letterpress invitations? Those little details tend to add up. Oh, and while the marriage license might not be the most extravagant expenditure, it’s a pretty important component and it’s not free.
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- Think Outside the Box and Get Support from Friends and Family
Couples are often dead set on getting married on a Saturday until they realize the savings that come with booking a venue for a weekday. And what about the time of day? Brunch food is often a lot less expensive to cater than traditional evening meals. Sample creative options like food trucks or oyster roasts. Don’t assume that the college roommate who went into the confectionery business is dying to contribute gratis wedding cake, but be open to accepting the resources of people who are going to be at the wedding anyway. If they are excited to provide a veil or jewelry, there’s no limit on “something borrowed.” When it comes time to flip the room from formal dinner to dance floor, make use of those energetic guests who are itching to be cutting a rug.
Couples often get so caught up in planning for a wedding that they forget to prepare for their marriage. The good news is that it’s possible to do both at the same time, and that wedding can be a chance to invest in the future.